We found Mom, Dad, Derek, Andy, and Jen - and then Christine. I just broke down. We were so close, and someone with a point to prove or a higher power to bow down to ruined it. They ruined it for 4500+ of us. We had worked so hard....
We walked on - trying to find cell service, get a call or text message out.... my cell battery died, so I couldn't talk to anyone. My brother was able to post on Facebook to let our small world know that we were ok. I was just hoping that the others I knew in town were ok too.
I felt lost...even after I found my family, and mom made some calls to other relatives... I still feel lost. What do we do? We rally, we come together, we support each other...isn't that what running is about? The camaraderie, mutual love for punishing ourselves, bragging rights...? I had hopes of going to work today, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't process all of this. I think I am, but I am not sure...
We united with Fred and Catherine in the lobby of Andy's building, but I still hadn't heard from Bobbie, Andy, and that group. What I learned later was they were so close on Boylston St., ended up in the basement of Uno's restaurant until the staff there could see if it was safe for everyone.... I can't even imagine what they were feeling. I just am thankful the people I know and love are safe.
My brother texted me a picture this afternoon that brought on such emotion I was a mess - he got my medal for me. His text said, "In my eyes, you finished. I got your medal for you." I cannot begin to decribe the pride I have in my brother, my family, my friends.... I have no words. I love you all.
As I try to wrap my mind around what happened, I want to ask "why?" over and over again. But I know I can ask that forever and still not understand. I can be angry. I can be indignant. But honestly, I am sad. The running communities are so supportive of each other - it doesn't matter what country you are from, what color you are, what age/size/shape you are....that is just how it is. I will run again next year. I know this. And I will cross the finish line. Because I deserve to...we all deserve to.
Peace, my friends.